Emotional Intelligence Leadership

Mastery is the second element that leads to more intrinsic motivation. Daniel Pink in his book, Drive, defines mastery as the desire to get better and better at something that matters.

If you have the desire to improve, you probably want to know what you can do…

In addition to deliberate practice, practice and more practice, you need to know how you’re doing and what you can do to improve. You are looking for more self-awareness. That means seeking feedback on an on-going basis.

Set up the conversation with a variety of people you trust to be honest and that know you, but also ask people that think differently than you, diversity of thought, experience and background is helpful. Explain that you are on the road to mastering something (XYZ) and you are seeking feedback to help you get there. Ask these questions on a regular and frequent basis (perhaps weekly or monthly):

“What am I doing well to get closer to mastering XYZ?”
“What could I do differently to be better at XYZ?”
“What other feedback do you have that may be helpful in my mastering XYZ?”

Thank the person genuinely and get to work on putting that feedback into motion. As you take action, ask for more specific feedback and continue refining your behaviors and actions.

Be prepared that the road to mastery can be long and potentially painful. It will serve you well if you have a “learning” mindset and take small baby steps toward your goal of mastering XYZ.

Mastery requires concerted effort. Be one of the minority that has the energy and focus to stay the course. The payoff of your leadership will be great.

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We tend to think of good decision making as being logical and rational and that if we allow emotions to get into the mix they will prevent good decisions. But, consider an emotionally intelligent leader who has an understanding of her emotions (self awareness), is skilled at managing them (self-management of emotion), has social awareness (empathy), and is good at relationship management. These four fundamentals of EQ, combined with logic and rational thought enable better decisions to be made.

A recent small study by TalentSmart using a 360 degree assessment, showed that almost 70% of leaders rated as high in emotional intelligence also rated well in decision making. And they found that 69% of low rated EQ leaders ranked in the lowest 15% of decision makers.

You can increase your decision making capabilities by being more emotionally intelligent.

See http://www.talentsmart.com/learn/online_whitepaper2.php?title=EMOTIONAL_DECISIONS_1&page=1

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I regularly reflect about great leadership and how emotional intelligence (EI) contributes to a leader’s effectiveness. I strongly believe that the more EI a leader has and uses appropriately in daily interactions, the more effective s/he is, all things being equal. That belief is why this blog exists.

When it comes to the year end, I find myself thinking about all the leaders I have encountered, worked with or heard about through the year. The great, good, bad and the ugly. And that review makes me conclude once again, that a leader’s clarity is absolutely critical. We expect that with regard to an organization’s vision, mission, goals, objectives etc., but don’t always consciously require that clarity of a leader at the individual, personal level.

But we should, we must. Without that personal clarity, self-awareness, and self-knowledge at a deep level, how can a leader really hope to earn trust and inspire greatness especially in uncertain, ambiguous times?

As 2009 closes and we embrace all that is possible in the new year, I challenge you and the leaders you know, work with and mentor to find and refine your personal clarity. That will have a huge impact on your leadership, those you lead and the bottom line of your organization’s success. Take action!

Here’s a to a great 2010! I look forward to continuing on the learning journey with you and to furthering your leadership effectiveness.

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Jennifer Cheavens, PhD and assistant professor of psychology at Ohio State University is doing very interesting work on hope.  This makes me more hopeful than I already am…especially for leaders and their teams. Dr. Cheavens asserts that research has shown that those of us with lots of hope do very well in life in all sorts of areas. Prior to knowing this, that was my sense, but now there’s evidence.

Dr Cheavens and her colleagues differentiate hope from optimism; they define hope as goal-oriented thinking. It is therefore active. There are two components, pathways and agency. “Pathways thinking reflects your ability to come up with lots of different ways to get what you want in the future. Agency is the amount of energy, will or motivation you bring to those routes.” A person can be high in both pathways and agency, low in one or the other or low in both.

Stated this way, hope sounds like creative problem-solving to meet a goal, the very actions required of leaders and their teams to achieve business results. And an excellent tie-back to self awareness and emotional intelligence (EI).

Noting this, it may be useful for leaders and the individuals on their teams to consider where they are on the hope scale. And if needed, work to move one’s placement further up the scale.

Dr, Cheavens recommends asking these three questions which will give you an idea of where you are on the hope scale:

-Do I believe I can get the things I want in my life?
-Do I think I can come up with ways to get what I want?
-Do I think those ways are things I can actually do?

For a leader and a workplace team, the questions might be something like the following:

-Do we believe we can get the things we want in this project/assignment?
-Do we think we can come up with ways to get what we want?
-Do we think those ways are things we can actually do?

How do you increase hope? Dr. Cheavens suggests articulating very specific goals, and to move toward a goal rather than away from a problem, as that is more energizing. These apply to an individual on a personal level and in the professional arena. Use positive self-talk and good self-care. Good advice in any situation. Generate lots of pathways to reach the goal. This is brainstorming, a familiar tool to leaders and teams. Visually make a map of “I am/we are here” as a starting point with the goal on the other end and include the pathways and obstacles. Ramp-up support, find advocates and allies. Again, this makes good sense in the personal and professional spheres.

Now that there is evidence that hope really can make a difference, I am hopeful that leaders and teams take action to increase their hope.

How hopeful are you?

http://www.more.com/2024/7577-a-plan-to-make-your

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Two of the most important leadership lessons I learned happened early in my work life in my days in NYC. I watched a manager undo more than 35 years of experience by being overly sure of himself and unwilling to change with the times. His career derailed and ended as a result.

OK, so don’t be overconfident and don’t fail to adapt. Not so hard, right? You may think you are immune to either of these. And perhaps you are among those who are.

But consider Malcolm Gladwell’s article in The New Yorker (http://www.gladwell.com/2009/2009_07_27_a_cocksure.html) where he writes about overconfidence and the downfall of Bear Sterns. By no means is it just those in finance world that are at risk. Apparently, as we age and with more experience, we tend to overestimate the accuracy of our judgments. This is even more true when “…the task before us is difficult and when we’re involved with something of great personal importance.” The line between what we can control and what we can’t gets grayer.

Of course there are times when overconfidence disguised as excessive optimism can be helpful. But business and organizational results are at risk, not to mention the well being of the individuals who make up those organizations.

Leaders need to be very mindful of falling into the trap of overconfidence. One way to do that is to always be on the lookout to adapt as necessary. Do not solely rely on what has worked in the past. Too often leaders blindly repeat what has built the bottom line and brought them success so far.

Equally critical is self-awareness and being able to trust your team to offer diverse views for serious consideration. It takes a grounded leader to ask for input especially when it’s a different perspective. And it takes trust for those the leader is asking to provide honest opinions and feedback.

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Leaders should be willing and able to show their emotions when appropriate. It’s ‘when is it appropriate and how to express those emotions’ that we don’t all agree on.

There were two tragic car accidents this week that touched my world. The two that lost their lives still had so much living ahead. Their contribution to making life better will really be missed.

In the shock of reading an email in the first case and hearing the news in the second, I had to decide how to respond.

Writing a response via email was just too impersonal. Phoning seemed the right thing to do in both cases. With caller ID, the person on the other end could choose not to answer. They answered. Tears, a loss of words, then words overflowing were shared.

Perhaps this is not what another leader might have chosen to do. In these two situations, it felt right to me. I hope that my reaching out and sharing my sense of loss and compassion will in some small way lead to healing.

Leaders need to know themselves well enough to know what they are willing and able to do in times of loss. And I believe leaders also need to be willing and able to be vulnerable in those situations to share their emotions, their compassion and humanity.

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Sometimes in the midst of being busy with an overwhelming number of things to do, I attempt to speed up my pace, thinking that will help me accomplish more faster. Mistake. More often than not what happens is I end up making careless errors and having to do double-work. Rather than saving time, precious time is wasted and I get very frustrated in the process.

I once heard that the elite Navy Seals train with the philosophy of Go Slow to Go Fast. Slow is a relative term. The idea is that if we focus on doing something correctly and thoroughly the first time, it actually allows us to go faster in the end. It makes sense that when you only have one chance to get it right, you better be or lives may be lost.

I can’t say whether the Navy Seals do live by this idea, but it has made a positive difference for me. When I am self-aware and focus on slowing down, being more thoughtful about each moment and action and step, I get more done and feel less  stressed. I repeat “go slow to go fast” in my mind and my breathing becomes less shallow, more full-in-the-belly breathing which health experts tell us lowers stress hormones.

Research shows that leaders directly influence the work environment, the emotional climate of the workplace by about 70%. That in turn affects bottom line results in the range of 20-30%. You have the capability and responsibility to be self-aware and to make a positive impact on those you work with (not to mention those you live with).

Leaders can get more done, be less stressed and set a good example by going slow to go fast.

Let me know if it works for you.

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Leaders, think about your optimal performers. It’s very likely that they have and demonstrate each of these in abundance: knowledge + ability + skills + motivation. Conversely, if you have an employee who isn’t meeting performance standards, one or more of those elements is missing.

In a previous post, I talked about the importance for leaders to have an early warning system. Ideally, a leader anticipates, is proactive and also has an early warning system. This combination enables a leader to have foresight and be ahead of the curve, and can be the saving grace for those situations where the leader did not anticipate as well as she could, to assess and act quickly. An early warning system is a tool. But having one isn’t enough. The leader needs to use the information to weigh the situation or issue and take action which can impact the person and team’s optimal performance.

A business owner and I were talking about an employee that isn’t meeting the leader’s expectations. One of the pieces of this leader’s early warning system is sales goals. The employee we were discussing has not met his sales goal for two months. Month one of missing the goal was a yellow flag. Month two was red flag.  Now, the employee is potentially going into dangerous territory. He has to turn things around.

Th leader explained that at the end of month one, he asked the employee what he could do to help. They agreed on some specific steps they each would take and checked-in with each other over the next few weeks. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough. At the end of month two, sales had not improved and the two met again. The employee said he’d try harder. The leader said he was there to help. Again, that was not enough change.

I recommended that the leader and employee discuss and assess the four areas: knowledge +  ability + skills + motivation to understand what is happening.  I think of knowledge as the  knowing why, what, how, when and with whom, it includes the theoretical and book learning parts. You can have knowledge without ability or skill or motivation. Ability is sometimes innate, sometimes developed; it usually is demonstrated by a person being able to do XYZ.  Just because you have an ability does not mean you have a high level of skill. In using skills here, I am referring to a person having a high level of skill in executing a strategy or action; the person does something well or very well. Motivation used here is about whether a person has the motivation to take action, whether intrinsic or because of an external reason. He wants to apply what he knows, using his ability with a lot of skill.

The conversation will require self-awareness on both the leader and employee’s parts. And depending on what comes from the talk, they then can fashion an appropriate action plan quickly.

What are your thoughts or experience?

Come back to see what transpires next.

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A tickle that develops into a sore throat is my early warning system for a cold. My response is lots of hot tea with honey. Usually I can catch it in time so that the cold doesn’t materialize.

Most of us have early warning systems for various aspects of our lives. They may be so automatic, we don’t think about them. But developing them isn’t always automatic.

As leaders, we also need to have reliable early waring systems. And they need to be developed and nurtured. And, we need to pay keen attention to them. Two that work for me (and that I’m still developing) are:

1) my intuition

2) asking big picture and then progressively more detailed questions

Intuition experts say we all have this ability, some of us use it more than others. And it turns out the more you use it the better it is, like a muscle. My intuition has become more reliable over time as I pay attention- become more self-aware, trust it and consciously call it to action.

A quick story. I serve as President on a local board of directors for a not-for-profit organization for women business owners, NAWBO (National Association of Women Business Owners). Our term started in July and most of the board was staying on for another term. We have a couple new members also. Recently, I had a feeling that one of our new board members was going to resign. It was a “gut” feeling. Over the course of the next three weeks, I touched base with this person a few times to see how things were going and how I could lend support. There wasn’t anything specific she asked of me. But last week she resigned for some personal reasons. I wasn’t surprised. I was disappointed to see her go, but I know this is what is best for her.

Here’s the learning in this example. I had an intuitive feeling something was going to change, but I didn’t pay enough attention at the time. Had I done so, I would have been three steps ahead in having the back-up plan ready to execute. I had somewhat of a back-up plan. Not solid enough. I should have really listened and trusted to my intuition when it started to give me the sense that something was about to happen and then prepared to set plan B into motion.

Plan B has now been put into place, but it took three days longer than it should have.

If you are a leader (and everyone is on some level) what is your early warning system?

Stayed tuned for more…

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Trust is on my mind. I’ve talked about it here before, but lately it seems to be everywhere. In a recent blog post, I wrote “I Trust Too Much!?!” Then I happen to pick-up the June 2009 Harvard Business Review (HBR), and the cover is “Rebuilding Trust.” Then Walter Cronkite passes away. He was known as the most trusted man in America. I then catch part of an NPR story about trust. My fascination with trust continues.

One of the articles in HBR is “Rethinking Trust” by Roderick M. Kramer, a social psychologist and the William R. Kimball Professor of Organizational Behavior at the Stanford Graduate School of Business in CA.

Kramer starts by sharing evidence that to trust is really part of being human. But he claims we can’t always rely on our judgment. This makes me nervous. Even though I’ve been told I sometimes trust too much, most of the time (98%) it works out OK, actually it works out well. This means what has worked for me so far is pretty comfortable and I’m likely to continue doing that. Kramer says that can be dangerous. He points out that we need to revisit the trust issue and check-in every so-often or we may put ourselves in a grief-causing situation.

He outlines seven rules for trusting wisely:

1) Know yourself

2) Start small

3) Write an escape clause

4) Send strong signals

5) Recognize the other person’s dilemma

6) Look at roles as well as people

7) Remain vigilant and always question

The first rule is a great tie-back to emotional intelligence. Knowing yourself is the starting point in both arenas. Without this knowledge and I would say self-honesty, you could be setting yourself up for abuse by trusting too much, or on the other end, hold yourself back from developing deeper relationships by trusting too little.

I, therefore, must be ever conscious of correctly interpreting the clues I get from other people or, I may put myself in a position of unwanted vulnerability. Finding the balance where I can trust (and of course be trusted), so we can build the relationship is of great interest to me. And also of great interest is not being taken advantage of.

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