Emotional Intelligence Leadership

“Purpose provides activation energy for living.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi told Daniel Pink, author of Drive.

When I read Drive, it really hit a cord with me, particularly the chapter on purpose. Daniel Pink states, “we’re designed to be active and engaged. And we know that the richest experiences in our lives aren’t when we’re clamoring for validation from others, but when we’re listening to our own voice – doing something that matters, doing it well, and doing it in the service of a cause larger than ourselves.”

It’s quite common that at some point in life we ask, “what is my purpose?” And we strive to find the answer. The answer may not come for a while and it may change with life experience and time. Coming to an answer often infuses us with renewed energy and hope. For me it also brings clarity of what, with whom, how, when and why to spend my precious time and energy. Purpose also gives me courage.

I’m not sure which comes first purpose or courage. It probably doesn’t matter. What does matter is that leaders all need courage. And leaders all need purpose. Together, they enable leaders to see and set the vision, refine direction and allows them to guide others. Purpose fuels us.

When I take action that is aligned with my purpose, I am in creative flow, it’s practically effortless and I’m happy, productive and fulfilled. I am at my best, performing optimally.

If you want to be at your best, clarify your purpose and make choices and decisions that match it. It works.

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In my last post, I told you I was reading Daniel Pink’s latest book, Drive as fast as I could. And I strongly recommended you get it. If you have not, do.  It applies to us all, not only for those who lead in formal ways. And since I believe that we all are leaders in some way, shape or form, the information applies to YOU.

Drive says that for 21st century work, we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery and purpose. This is assuming you strive for optimal performance.

I had not thought too much about it before, autonomy that is. I am fortunate that for most of my working life, I have had a fair amount of it, so I have not spent much energy thinking   about it. And somehow it seemed like the right thing to do when leading people, so  that is the approach I’ve taken. But these days the whole concept of autonomy is right in front of me. I get to see what it means as my young child wants to do this, that, and so-and-so himself. “I can do it, by myself. No, I want to do it (don’t help me, Mommy).”

And if we start out this way as toddlers, why then is that not the case for many in the world of work? Of course there are standards to meet and for some types of work there is a “proper” way to do things that doesn’t allow for too much autonomy. But for much of the work today, autonomy is the way to go if you want to the person doing it to really be “into” what s/he is doing and the result to be higher, better performance.

Drive says that we have a default setting (like my toddler) and that is to be autonomous. That is, when people have self-direction over what they do (the tasks), when they do it (the time), how they do it (the technique) and who they do it with (the team), they and you get big payoffs.

We all want to outperform yesterday and I’d add, our competition. Autonomy is one way to make it happen.

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I’m reading Drive by Daniel Pink as fast as I can. It captures in one place, a clear explanation of what I’ve been feeling and perhaps knowing for a long time: motivation (enduring motivation vs. short term bursts) is an inside job. Pink’s newest book is spot on. Here’s his Twitter summary (he’s given permission to retweet this) : Carrots & sticks are so last century. Drive says for 21st century work, we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery and purpose.

If you are leader, read this book NOW and look at what you’re doing in your workplace. You may be sabotaging your employee’s best performance while trying to maximize it. And the reward system you have in place may be keeping you from your optimal performance as well. I’m sure that’s not your intention.

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Leaders, think about your optimal performers. It’s very likely that they have and demonstrate each of these in abundance: knowledge + ability + skills + motivation. Conversely, if you have an employee who isn’t meeting performance standards, one or more of those elements is missing.

In a previous post, I talked about the importance for leaders to have an early warning system. Ideally, a leader anticipates, is proactive and also has an early warning system. This combination enables a leader to have foresight and be ahead of the curve, and can be the saving grace for those situations where the leader did not anticipate as well as she could, to assess and act quickly. An early warning system is a tool. But having one isn’t enough. The leader needs to use the information to weigh the situation or issue and take action which can impact the person and team’s optimal performance.

A business owner and I were talking about an employee that isn’t meeting the leader’s expectations. One of the pieces of this leader’s early warning system is sales goals. The employee we were discussing has not met his sales goal for two months. Month one of missing the goal was a yellow flag. Month two was red flag.  Now, the employee is potentially going into dangerous territory. He has to turn things around.

Th leader explained that at the end of month one, he asked the employee what he could do to help. They agreed on some specific steps they each would take and checked-in with each other over the next few weeks. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough. At the end of month two, sales had not improved and the two met again. The employee said he’d try harder. The leader said he was there to help. Again, that was not enough change.

I recommended that the leader and employee discuss and assess the four areas: knowledge +  ability + skills + motivation to understand what is happening.  I think of knowledge as the  knowing why, what, how, when and with whom, it includes the theoretical and book learning parts. You can have knowledge without ability or skill or motivation. Ability is sometimes innate, sometimes developed; it usually is demonstrated by a person being able to do XYZ.  Just because you have an ability does not mean you have a high level of skill. In using skills here, I am referring to a person having a high level of skill in executing a strategy or action; the person does something well or very well. Motivation used here is about whether a person has the motivation to take action, whether intrinsic or because of an external reason. He wants to apply what he knows, using his ability with a lot of skill.

The conversation will require self-awareness on both the leader and employee’s parts. And depending on what comes from the talk, they then can fashion an appropriate action plan quickly.

What are your thoughts or experience?

Come back to see what transpires next.

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I recently shared an example of a leader, I’ll call her Faye, that built a lot of trust. Cultivating trust helped her build strong relationships. These relationships created an environment where people wanted to do their best and in fact, they did, they excelled.

Let’s look at her behaviors and actions:

Encouraged and promoted open communication

- Faye was honest and transparent and fostered that in return. You knew where she stood and what she expected. She shared her reasoning, thoughts and feelings. There were no hidden agendas or mixed messages. She created an environment where people truly felt they could express an opinion and it would be considered, even if it differed from hers. Faye asked for regular feedback and gave it freely, both complimentary and constructive. When she couldn’t take an action that was requested, she explained why and it made sense. She communicated clearly and thoroughly; the receiver really got the message that she intended.

Reliable and consistent

- Faye kept commitments and held herself and those she worked with accountable. She had high integrity. There were no surprises or broken promises. She was good at following-up. When she couldn’t take an action that was requested, she explained why and it made sense.

Respectful to all

-Faye was fair and had no hidden agendas. She really valued diversity. She enhanced people’s self-esteem.

Showed confidence in others

-Faye let people do their jobs by supporting them and getting out of their way. She invested in her team’s development, both individually and as a group. She coached and mentored. She advocated for her group and others. She shared leadership and she brought out the best in others.

Faye was and is a great leader and boss. And she still is one of the best leaders I know.

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Why is trust such an important part of being a leader? Without it, almost nothing else matters. It is a basic trademark of good leadership.

This makes me recall a former boss. He had technical business savvy, but very little emotional intelligence. He lead by fear, not by cultivating trust. He bullied lots of people (this was before companies really paid attention to professional and civil treatment for all) . He did not care about building relationships. And forget about developing employees. It’s almost as though he had a “chew ‘em up and spit ‘em out” philosophy. People would shake in their boots when he was around. He did not admit mistakes and was good at blaming others. While his “get results through fear” had short-term impact, it could not carry the long-term business results the corporation expected. Trust was non-existent. No one wanted to go the extra mile. Turnover was at an all-time high. And in the end, he was terminated.

It was a great learning experience. One that showed clearly what not to do.

In contrast, another former supervisor invested in relationships and earning people’s trust. She was honest and transparent. She had high integrity and you knew where she stood and what she expected. There were no hidden agendas. She created an environment where people truly felt they could express an opinion and it would be considered, even if it differed from hers. It was safe, so people had more courage and took more (good) risks. She kept commitments. She asked for regular feedback and was good at following-up. When she couldn’t take an action that was requested, she explained why and it made sense. She communicated clearly and thoroughly; in other words, the receiver really got the message that she intended. She let people do their jobs by supporting them and getting out of their way. She invested in her team’s development, both individually and as a group. People excelled on her team and high performers from other departments wanted to work with her. People willingly gave more than was expected and had fun doing it. We’re talking lots of optimal performance. In the end, she was promoted, several times, to the highest executive level.

It was a great learning experience. It made me want to be that kind of leader because I experienced first-hand what it was like to work with someone like that. I was motivated to do my best and then reach further, to improve from there. It was invigorating and rewarding, not just for me but for people I interacted with also.

Most leaders fall somewhere in between these two examples. And most good leaders do some of the things outlined in the second story above, some of the time.

Here’s my challenge to leaders: what difference would you see in performance and then business results if you did all of the things to build and nurture trust, all of the time? If you don’t think it’s worth the investment, I guarantee you are not maximizing your team’s output, getting the best business results and for sure you are not getting optimal performance.

Try it and let me know…

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Leaders! You have to pay attention to how to maximize your time and energy. If you aren’t already making the most of how you spend your energy, you’re wasting precious resources and you may be on your way to derailment or burnout.

One of the hallmarks of leadership is getting great business results through and with others and not trying to do it all yourself. Given that there’s always more to achieve, you need to rely on each individual on your team to do her/his part. The sum of everyone’s efforts needs to be 1+1=5 or better.

Emotional intelligence research shows that people want to do their best work, to perform at their optimal level when they work in a setting that enables them to do just that. What does that environment look like?

For starters, there’s a lot of trust. Up, down and sideways.

Yes, people can do a good job when it doesn’t exist, but for long-term, sustainable, excellent outcomes, trust must be part of the emotional climate. And integrity goes with trust.

Leaders often ask me how to cultivate trust. It’s simple but not necessarily easy. You build mutually trusting relationships one interaction at a time. Some then ask, “isn’t that a huge investment of time and energy?” I go back to how the leader is spending his time in the first place. If you want 1+1=5, use your time wisely. That includes building better, more effective relationships based on trust.

Every single interaction is an opportunity to build trust. And it’s a two-way street. If we really think about this, even our simplest human connections take on a different meaning.

In thinking about how to build trust, how do you start to feel that another person is trustworthy? Most often someone who earns out trust does so by being honest and open, truthful. I don’t mean brutally honest with no regard for the other person’s feelings. I’m referring to the person who can present the truth in a helpful way, using their emotional intelligence to read their own emotions and that of the other person or group and respond appropriately. This person keeps confidences. Their actions and behaviors match what they say. You know, they walk their talk. And he doesn’t do things for personal gain. He admits his mistakes or missteps and learns from them.

Trust develops over time, little by little. And can be instantly dissolved.

I’ll be talking more about trust, how to cultivate it, and what not to do over the next few posts.

And as always, I welcome your thoughts and comments.

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