Emotional Intelligence Leadership

We tend to think of good decision making as being logical and rational and that if we allow emotions to get into the mix they will prevent good decisions. But, consider an emotionally intelligent leader who has an understanding of her emotions (self awareness), is skilled at managing them (self-management of emotion), has social awareness (empathy), and is good at relationship management. These four fundamentals of EQ, combined with logic and rational thought enable better decisions to be made.

A recent small study by TalentSmart using a 360 degree assessment, showed that almost 70% of leaders rated as high in emotional intelligence also rated well in decision making. And they found that 69% of low rated EQ leaders ranked in the lowest 15% of decision makers.

You can increase your decision making capabilities by being more emotionally intelligent.

See http://www.talentsmart.com/learn/online_whitepaper2.php?title=EMOTIONAL_DECISIONS_1&page=1

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I regularly reflect about great leadership and how emotional intelligence (EI) contributes to a leader’s effectiveness. I strongly believe that the more EI a leader has and uses appropriately in daily interactions, the more effective s/he is, all things being equal. That belief is why this blog exists.

When it comes to the year end, I find myself thinking about all the leaders I have encountered, worked with or heard about through the year. The great, good, bad and the ugly. And that review makes me conclude once again, that a leader’s clarity is absolutely critical. We expect that with regard to an organization’s vision, mission, goals, objectives etc., but don’t always consciously require that clarity of a leader at the individual, personal level.

But we should, we must. Without that personal clarity, self-awareness, and self-knowledge at a deep level, how can a leader really hope to earn trust and inspire greatness especially in uncertain, ambiguous times?

As 2009 closes and we embrace all that is possible in the new year, I challenge you and the leaders you know, work with and mentor to find and refine your personal clarity. That will have a huge impact on your leadership, those you lead and the bottom line of your organization’s success. Take action!

Here’s a to a great 2010! I look forward to continuing on the learning journey with you and to furthering your leadership effectiveness.

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Jennifer Cheavens, PhD and assistant professor of psychology at Ohio State University is doing very interesting work on hope.  This makes me more hopeful than I already am…especially for leaders and their teams. Dr. Cheavens asserts that research has shown that those of us with lots of hope do very well in life in all sorts of areas. Prior to knowing this, that was my sense, but now there’s evidence.

Dr Cheavens and her colleagues differentiate hope from optimism; they define hope as goal-oriented thinking. It is therefore active. There are two components, pathways and agency. “Pathways thinking reflects your ability to come up with lots of different ways to get what you want in the future. Agency is the amount of energy, will or motivation you bring to those routes.” A person can be high in both pathways and agency, low in one or the other or low in both.

Stated this way, hope sounds like creative problem-solving to meet a goal, the very actions required of leaders and their teams to achieve business results. And an excellent tie-back to self awareness and emotional intelligence (EI).

Noting this, it may be useful for leaders and the individuals on their teams to consider where they are on the hope scale. And if needed, work to move one’s placement further up the scale.

Dr, Cheavens recommends asking these three questions which will give you an idea of where you are on the hope scale:

-Do I believe I can get the things I want in my life?
-Do I think I can come up with ways to get what I want?
-Do I think those ways are things I can actually do?

For a leader and a workplace team, the questions might be something like the following:

-Do we believe we can get the things we want in this project/assignment?
-Do we think we can come up with ways to get what we want?
-Do we think those ways are things we can actually do?

How do you increase hope? Dr. Cheavens suggests articulating very specific goals, and to move toward a goal rather than away from a problem, as that is more energizing. These apply to an individual on a personal level and in the professional arena. Use positive self-talk and good self-care. Good advice in any situation. Generate lots of pathways to reach the goal. This is brainstorming, a familiar tool to leaders and teams. Visually make a map of “I am/we are here” as a starting point with the goal on the other end and include the pathways and obstacles. Ramp-up support, find advocates and allies. Again, this makes good sense in the personal and professional spheres.

Now that there is evidence that hope really can make a difference, I am hopeful that leaders and teams take action to increase their hope.

How hopeful are you?

http://www.more.com/2024/7577-a-plan-to-make-your

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Too often I meet leaders who have the view that being successful and getting business results is primarily about being task oriented.

I disagree.

Being successful in getting business results is combining all the elements of Emotional Intelligence with focusing on achieving the business goals and objectives. Today, being a leader means paying attention and putting energy and effort into relationships and nurturing relationship management. By now I hope you recognize that even though you may want to do everything yourself, it just is not possible. That’s where relationships matter. If you hope to accomplish all the priorities, you need to collaborate with those in your team and influence them in a positive way to meet those demands.

In order to do this, think about how much of your effort as a leader is on relationships. How much emphasis do you put on tasks? Rough numbers, I say you should spend 70% give or take a little on relationship building and maintaining those relationships.

How do you start spending 70% of your energy on relationships? Start with learning about EI and yourself. Then once you have an idea about where your EI competencies are, you can develop a plan to strengthen and refine them.

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Trust is on my mind. I’ve talked about it here before, but lately it seems to be everywhere. In a recent blog post, I wrote “I Trust Too Much!?!” Then I happen to pick-up the June 2009 Harvard Business Review (HBR), and the cover is “Rebuilding Trust.” Then Walter Cronkite passes away. He was known as the most trusted man in America. I then catch part of an NPR story about trust. My fascination with trust continues.

One of the articles in HBR is “Rethinking Trust” by Roderick M. Kramer, a social psychologist and the William R. Kimball Professor of Organizational Behavior at the Stanford Graduate School of Business in CA.

Kramer starts by sharing evidence that to trust is really part of being human. But he claims we can’t always rely on our judgment. This makes me nervous. Even though I’ve been told I sometimes trust too much, most of the time (98%) it works out OK, actually it works out well. This means what has worked for me so far is pretty comfortable and I’m likely to continue doing that. Kramer says that can be dangerous. He points out that we need to revisit the trust issue and check-in every so-often or we may put ourselves in a grief-causing situation.

He outlines seven rules for trusting wisely:

1) Know yourself

2) Start small

3) Write an escape clause

4) Send strong signals

5) Recognize the other person’s dilemma

6) Look at roles as well as people

7) Remain vigilant and always question

The first rule is a great tie-back to emotional intelligence. Knowing yourself is the starting point in both arenas. Without this knowledge and I would say self-honesty, you could be setting yourself up for abuse by trusting too much, or on the other end, hold yourself back from developing deeper relationships by trusting too little.

I, therefore, must be ever conscious of correctly interpreting the clues I get from other people or, I may put myself in a position of unwanted vulnerability. Finding the balance where I can trust (and of course be trusted), so we can build the relationship is of great interest to me. And also of great interest is not being taken advantage of.

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Alice Trexler, Associate Professor and Director of Dance, at Tufts University was a very influential leader in my life. I don’t know if she realizes the hugely positive influence she had on me, my thinking about the world in many respects and my outlook on life. In fact, I don’t think I fully realized this myself until I read today in the NY Times about Merce Cunninham, the choreographer, passing away on Sunday.

Merce Cunningham was a leader. Not only in the world of dance and the arts, but in a much larger context as he explored and experimented with ideas beyond the then-accepted boundaries.

Alice introduced me to Merce Cunningham and his work while I was a student at Tufts. I was quickly taken-in by what he pursued and embraced:  experimentation,“But” and “What if?” questions about what dance and choreography are or could be, pedestrian movement and its place in dance, independence, ambiguity and humor, dance as the expression of the nature of change itself, “…he showed how people can be intensely involved and isolated at the same time in a relationship, both cooperating and independent.”

All of these concepts and elements are somehow intertwined into my leadership and emotional intelligence work today.

“You have to love dancing to stick to it,” Cunningham once wrote. “It gives you nothing back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting moment when you feel alive.”

With gratitude and aloha to Alice Trexler and Merce Cunningham, leaders.

Alison Zecha

NY Times article http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/28/arts/dance/28cunningham.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&hp

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In the past,  I have been told that I trust too much. Hmm. That made me stop and think about the relativity of trust.

While my inclination to trust has not changed much since that feedback, I have become more aware of the whole arena of trust. I now notice what happens in interactions, with regard to trust, particularly in leadership relationships. That is, the relationships that leaders have with those they are leading and how trust plays a critical part in them.

Trust means different things to different people. An employee feels that his leader does not trust him because she asked him to consider his frame of mind and timing before having a sensitive discussion with another manager. She, the leader, does have a lot of trust in this employee, yet cautions him because she knows more than meets the eye. They are talking with each other to clarify expectations, goals and the dance of the relationship and its impact on business results. This can be quite complex. It could be that she does not completely trust his judgment in this instance, but still trusts him overall. Eventually, the way this leader and employee handle this discussion and their next steps says a lot about the trust they share.

My perspective is while trust works best when it is reciprocated, sometimes you need to show you trust before the other party trusts you. And trust is a moving target. Idealism and realism have some part in this as well.  I may trust too much compared to Joe or Jane, but not trust as much as Sarah or Scott.

Since my view is to use emotional intelligence to build and sustain high performance relationships toward achieving the best business results, I coach believing that trust and EI are absolutely necessary for the leader and those s/he  works with for long-term success.

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Why is trust such an important part of being a leader? Without it, almost nothing else matters. It is a basic trademark of good leadership.

This makes me recall a former boss. He had technical business savvy, but very little emotional intelligence. He lead by fear, not by cultivating trust. He bullied lots of people (this was before companies really paid attention to professional and civil treatment for all) . He did not care about building relationships. And forget about developing employees. It’s almost as though he had a “chew ‘em up and spit ‘em out” philosophy. People would shake in their boots when he was around. He did not admit mistakes and was good at blaming others. While his “get results through fear” had short-term impact, it could not carry the long-term business results the corporation expected. Trust was non-existent. No one wanted to go the extra mile. Turnover was at an all-time high. And in the end, he was terminated.

It was a great learning experience. One that showed clearly what not to do.

In contrast, another former supervisor invested in relationships and earning people’s trust. She was honest and transparent. She had high integrity and you knew where she stood and what she expected. There were no hidden agendas. She created an environment where people truly felt they could express an opinion and it would be considered, even if it differed from hers. It was safe, so people had more courage and took more (good) risks. She kept commitments. She asked for regular feedback and was good at following-up. When she couldn’t take an action that was requested, she explained why and it made sense. She communicated clearly and thoroughly; in other words, the receiver really got the message that she intended. She let people do their jobs by supporting them and getting out of their way. She invested in her team’s development, both individually and as a group. People excelled on her team and high performers from other departments wanted to work with her. People willingly gave more than was expected and had fun doing it. We’re talking lots of optimal performance. In the end, she was promoted, several times, to the highest executive level.

It was a great learning experience. It made me want to be that kind of leader because I experienced first-hand what it was like to work with someone like that. I was motivated to do my best and then reach further, to improve from there. It was invigorating and rewarding, not just for me but for people I interacted with also.

Most leaders fall somewhere in between these two examples. And most good leaders do some of the things outlined in the second story above, some of the time.

Here’s my challenge to leaders: what difference would you see in performance and then business results if you did all of the things to build and nurture trust, all of the time? If you don’t think it’s worth the investment, I guarantee you are not maximizing your team’s output, getting the best business results and for sure you are not getting optimal performance.

Try it and let me know…

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Leaders! You have to pay attention to how to maximize your time and energy. If you aren’t already making the most of how you spend your energy, you’re wasting precious resources and you may be on your way to derailment or burnout.

One of the hallmarks of leadership is getting great business results through and with others and not trying to do it all yourself. Given that there’s always more to achieve, you need to rely on each individual on your team to do her/his part. The sum of everyone’s efforts needs to be 1+1=5 or better.

Emotional intelligence research shows that people want to do their best work, to perform at their optimal level when they work in a setting that enables them to do just that. What does that environment look like?

For starters, there’s a lot of trust. Up, down and sideways.

Yes, people can do a good job when it doesn’t exist, but for long-term, sustainable, excellent outcomes, trust must be part of the emotional climate. And integrity goes with trust.

Leaders often ask me how to cultivate trust. It’s simple but not necessarily easy. You build mutually trusting relationships one interaction at a time. Some then ask, “isn’t that a huge investment of time and energy?” I go back to how the leader is spending his time in the first place. If you want 1+1=5, use your time wisely. That includes building better, more effective relationships based on trust.

Every single interaction is an opportunity to build trust. And it’s a two-way street. If we really think about this, even our simplest human connections take on a different meaning.

In thinking about how to build trust, how do you start to feel that another person is trustworthy? Most often someone who earns out trust does so by being honest and open, truthful. I don’t mean brutally honest with no regard for the other person’s feelings. I’m referring to the person who can present the truth in a helpful way, using their emotional intelligence to read their own emotions and that of the other person or group and respond appropriately. This person keeps confidences. Their actions and behaviors match what they say. You know, they walk their talk. And he doesn’t do things for personal gain. He admits his mistakes or missteps and learns from them.

Trust develops over time, little by little. And can be instantly dissolved.

I’ll be talking more about trust, how to cultivate it, and what not to do over the next few posts.

And as always, I welcome your thoughts and comments.

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Look around at who is a great leader. Chances are they combine technical knowledge, business savvy and emotional intelligence.

You can’t escape the fact that as leaders, having social awareness which is part of being socially competent, a fundamental of emotional intelligence, is a must for extraordinary long-term business results and success. Here are the top three reasons leaders need to be socially aware:

1) It’s a small world, getting smaller by the minute.

2) You can’t be a success in leadership on your own.

3) People do business with people they know and like.

Let’s look at reason number one: it’s a small world getting smaller. It is so clear and yet we don’t think about it that much. I’m talking about how connected we are. Every week, sometimes daily,  I find that degrees of separation are decreasing. The fellow I met at a networking breakfast knows a colleague down the hall; a friend plays softball with my real estate agent; my neighbor does business with my former boss.  Friends and associates in London, Berlin, Hong Kong and Honolulu meet via LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter and soon start doing business together and referring one another.

As the world gets smaller, leaders need to continue to create connections and community. Without a community or several, you are an island. And since leadership is about getting amazing results through and with other people, you can’t go it alone, reason number two leaders need to be socially aware. Imagine a series of interlocking circles. The circles can represent individuals or communities. The spaces where they overlap are where relationships that nurture business and leadership success lie.

This in turn relates to reason number three why leaders need to be socially aware: we like to do business with people we know and like. It’s the same the world over (and remember, that world is getting smaller).

Ok, so you know the WHY you as a leader need to be socially aware. The How to become socially aware is next. Stay tuned.

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