Emotional Intelligence Leadership

I regularly reflect about great leadership and how emotional intelligence (EI) contributes to a leader’s effectiveness. I strongly believe that the more EI a leader has and uses appropriately in daily interactions, the more effective s/he is, all things being equal. That belief is why this blog exists.

When it comes to the year end, I find myself thinking about all the leaders I have encountered, worked with or heard about through the year. The great, good, bad and the ugly. And that review makes me conclude once again, that a leader’s clarity is absolutely critical. We expect that with regard to an organization’s vision, mission, goals, objectives etc., but don’t always consciously require that clarity of a leader at the individual, personal level.

But we should, we must. Without that personal clarity, self-awareness, and self-knowledge at a deep level, how can a leader really hope to earn trust and inspire greatness especially in uncertain, ambiguous times?

As 2009 closes and we embrace all that is possible in the new year, I challenge you and the leaders you know, work with and mentor to find and refine your personal clarity. That will have a huge impact on your leadership, those you lead and the bottom line of your organization’s success. Take action!

Here’s a to a great 2010! I look forward to continuing on the learning journey with you and to furthering your leadership effectiveness.

Tweet This Post

Jennifer Cheavens, PhD and assistant professor of psychology at Ohio State University is doing very interesting work on hope.  This makes me more hopeful than I already am…especially for leaders and their teams. Dr. Cheavens asserts that research has shown that those of us with lots of hope do very well in life in all sorts of areas. Prior to knowing this, that was my sense, but now there’s evidence.

Dr Cheavens and her colleagues differentiate hope from optimism; they define hope as goal-oriented thinking. It is therefore active. There are two components, pathways and agency. “Pathways thinking reflects your ability to come up with lots of different ways to get what you want in the future. Agency is the amount of energy, will or motivation you bring to those routes.” A person can be high in both pathways and agency, low in one or the other or low in both.

Stated this way, hope sounds like creative problem-solving to meet a goal, the very actions required of leaders and their teams to achieve business results. And an excellent tie-back to self awareness and emotional intelligence (EI).

Noting this, it may be useful for leaders and the individuals on their teams to consider where they are on the hope scale. And if needed, work to move one’s placement further up the scale.

Dr, Cheavens recommends asking these three questions which will give you an idea of where you are on the hope scale:

-Do I believe I can get the things I want in my life?
-Do I think I can come up with ways to get what I want?
-Do I think those ways are things I can actually do?

For a leader and a workplace team, the questions might be something like the following:

-Do we believe we can get the things we want in this project/assignment?
-Do we think we can come up with ways to get what we want?
-Do we think those ways are things we can actually do?

How do you increase hope? Dr. Cheavens suggests articulating very specific goals, and to move toward a goal rather than away from a problem, as that is more energizing. These apply to an individual on a personal level and in the professional arena. Use positive self-talk and good self-care. Good advice in any situation. Generate lots of pathways to reach the goal. This is brainstorming, a familiar tool to leaders and teams. Visually make a map of “I am/we are here” as a starting point with the goal on the other end and include the pathways and obstacles. Ramp-up support, find advocates and allies. Again, this makes good sense in the personal and professional spheres.

Now that there is evidence that hope really can make a difference, I am hopeful that leaders and teams take action to increase their hope.

How hopeful are you?

http://www.more.com/2024/7577-a-plan-to-make-your

Tweet This Post

Too often I meet leaders who have the view that being successful and getting business results is primarily about being task oriented.

I disagree.

Being successful in getting business results is combining all the elements of Emotional Intelligence with focusing on achieving the business goals and objectives. Today, being a leader means paying attention and putting energy and effort into relationships and nurturing relationship management. By now I hope you recognize that even though you may want to do everything yourself, it just is not possible. That’s where relationships matter. If you hope to accomplish all the priorities, you need to collaborate with those in your team and influence them in a positive way to meet those demands.

In order to do this, think about how much of your effort as a leader is on relationships. How much emphasis do you put on tasks? Rough numbers, I say you should spend 70% give or take a little on relationship building and maintaining those relationships.

How do you start spending 70% of your energy on relationships? Start with learning about EI and yourself. Then once you have an idea about where your EI competencies are, you can develop a plan to strengthen and refine them.

Tweet This Post

In the past,  I have been told that I trust too much. Hmm. That made me stop and think about the relativity of trust.

While my inclination to trust has not changed much since that feedback, I have become more aware of the whole arena of trust. I now notice what happens in interactions, with regard to trust, particularly in leadership relationships. That is, the relationships that leaders have with those they are leading and how trust plays a critical part in them.

Trust means different things to different people. An employee feels that his leader does not trust him because she asked him to consider his frame of mind and timing before having a sensitive discussion with another manager. She, the leader, does have a lot of trust in this employee, yet cautions him because she knows more than meets the eye. They are talking with each other to clarify expectations, goals and the dance of the relationship and its impact on business results. This can be quite complex. It could be that she does not completely trust his judgment in this instance, but still trusts him overall. Eventually, the way this leader and employee handle this discussion and their next steps says a lot about the trust they share.

My perspective is while trust works best when it is reciprocated, sometimes you need to show you trust before the other party trusts you. And trust is a moving target. Idealism and realism have some part in this as well.  I may trust too much compared to Joe or Jane, but not trust as much as Sarah or Scott.

Since my view is to use emotional intelligence to build and sustain high performance relationships toward achieving the best business results, I coach believing that trust and EI are absolutely necessary for the leader and those s/he  works with for long-term success.

Tweet This Post

A friend and business colleague phoned me and started the conversation after hello with, “we’re pretty good friends, right?” I immediately felt warmer and the warning light went on in my head. After I agreed, she went on to give me some feedback: she said that my sending an email offering help to a third party was “kinda taking over” (taking over her role as head of the non-profit volunteer organization we both belong to).

That came as a pretty big surprise, since that was not and is not my intention (there’s an example of the gap between intention and impact). After taking a breath, I apologized and explained that wasn’t what I wanted to do and I calmly asked her how she wanted me to change that going forward. She asked me to run things by her first and admitted that it might be cumbersome, but that was her preference (and she is the head of this organization). Ok, sure I can do that.

In the moment I composed the email and sent it, I was not thinking that my actions could be mis-interpreted. Since receiving the feedback, I am now much more conscious of how I will do things as they relate to this group and specifically to her, our leader.

Self management keeps me from making this any larger than it is. But I feel a bit annoyed (at least my self awareness is working some) at myself for not having thought about it more and the potential impact of my seemingly innocent actions. And I feel a bit irritated that what started out as a good gesture didn’t exactly turn out the way I thought.

Emotional intelligence as it happens.

Tweet This Post

Genuine human connection is at the heart of emotional intelligence (EI). Leaders more than ever need to connect to those they are leading. And perhaps more critical is that people, employees, volunteers need to feel connected to their leaders. They do that, we do that through human connection. Face-to-face.

Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to get rid of your PDA. I am suggesting that if you are wanting to improve your EI or are in need of developing emotional intelligence, you opt for a face-to- face conversation more than every-so-often. Leadership is many things. One is the art of getting things done, usually for a positive business result, through other people. While there are other ways to get results, one of the best ways is by building relationships. Studies show that one of the things employees want from their work environment is a positive relationship with their supervisor.  When that is a given, it’s fine to use your PDA to send a quick request and receive a timely response. But if your primary form of communicating is via a hand-held device, and you don’t already have a strong positive relationship, it’s time to put it down, walk around the corner and say hello.

Don’t sacrifice a relationship for what initially appears to be a more efficient way to get things done. The long run ROI just isn’t there. If however, you invest in building relationships through genuine human connections and then use your BlackBerry wisely, your efforts will pay off.

Tweet This Post