Emotional Intelligence Leadership

Mastery is the second element that leads to more intrinsic motivation. Daniel Pink in his book, Drive, defines mastery as the desire to get better and better at something that matters.

If you have the desire to improve, you probably want to know what you can do…

In addition to deliberate practice, practice and more practice, you need to know how you’re doing and what you can do to improve. You are looking for more self-awareness. That means seeking feedback on an on-going basis.

Set up the conversation with a variety of people you trust to be honest and that know you, but also ask people that think differently than you, diversity of thought, experience and background is helpful. Explain that you are on the road to mastering something (XYZ) and you are seeking feedback to help you get there. Ask these questions on a regular and frequent basis (perhaps weekly or monthly):

“What am I doing well to get closer to mastering XYZ?”
“What could I do differently to be better at XYZ?”
“What other feedback do you have that may be helpful in my mastering XYZ?”

Thank the person genuinely and get to work on putting that feedback into motion. As you take action, ask for more specific feedback and continue refining your behaviors and actions.

Be prepared that the road to mastery can be long and potentially painful. It will serve you well if you have a “learning” mindset and take small baby steps toward your goal of mastering XYZ.

Mastery requires concerted effort. Be one of the minority that has the energy and focus to stay the course. The payoff of your leadership will be great.

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In my last post, I told you I was reading Daniel Pink’s latest book, Drive as fast as I could. And I strongly recommended you get it. If you have not, do.  It applies to us all, not only for those who lead in formal ways. And since I believe that we all are leaders in some way, shape or form, the information applies to YOU.

Drive says that for 21st century work, we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery and purpose. This is assuming you strive for optimal performance.

I had not thought too much about it before, autonomy that is. I am fortunate that for most of my working life, I have had a fair amount of it, so I have not spent much energy thinking   about it. And somehow it seemed like the right thing to do when leading people, so  that is the approach I’ve taken. But these days the whole concept of autonomy is right in front of me. I get to see what it means as my young child wants to do this, that, and so-and-so himself. “I can do it, by myself. No, I want to do it (don’t help me, Mommy).”

And if we start out this way as toddlers, why then is that not the case for many in the world of work? Of course there are standards to meet and for some types of work there is a “proper” way to do things that doesn’t allow for too much autonomy. But for much of the work today, autonomy is the way to go if you want to the person doing it to really be “into” what s/he is doing and the result to be higher, better performance.

Drive says that we have a default setting (like my toddler) and that is to be autonomous. That is, when people have self-direction over what they do (the tasks), when they do it (the time), how they do it (the technique) and who they do it with (the team), they and you get big payoffs.

We all want to outperform yesterday and I’d add, our competition. Autonomy is one way to make it happen.

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I’m reading Drive by Daniel Pink as fast as I can. It captures in one place, a clear explanation of what I’ve been feeling and perhaps knowing for a long time: motivation (enduring motivation vs. short term bursts) is an inside job. Pink’s newest book is spot on. Here’s his Twitter summary (he’s given permission to retweet this) : Carrots & sticks are so last century. Drive says for 21st century work, we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery and purpose.

If you are leader, read this book NOW and look at what you’re doing in your workplace. You may be sabotaging your employee’s best performance while trying to maximize it. And the reward system you have in place may be keeping you from your optimal performance as well. I’m sure that’s not your intention.

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Sometimes in the midst of being busy with an overwhelming number of things to do, I attempt to speed up my pace, thinking that will help me accomplish more faster. Mistake. More often than not what happens is I end up making careless errors and having to do double-work. Rather than saving time, precious time is wasted and I get very frustrated in the process.

I once heard that the elite Navy Seals train with the philosophy of Go Slow to Go Fast. Slow is a relative term. The idea is that if we focus on doing something correctly and thoroughly the first time, it actually allows us to go faster in the end. It makes sense that when you only have one chance to get it right, you better be or lives may be lost.

I can’t say whether the Navy Seals do live by this idea, but it has made a positive difference for me. When I am self-aware and focus on slowing down, being more thoughtful about each moment and action and step, I get more done and feel less  stressed. I repeat “go slow to go fast” in my mind and my breathing becomes less shallow, more full-in-the-belly breathing which health experts tell us lowers stress hormones.

Research shows that leaders directly influence the work environment, the emotional climate of the workplace by about 70%. That in turn affects bottom line results in the range of 20-30%. You have the capability and responsibility to be self-aware and to make a positive impact on those you work with (not to mention those you live with).

Leaders can get more done, be less stressed and set a good example by going slow to go fast.

Let me know if it works for you.

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Leaders, think about your optimal performers. It’s very likely that they have and demonstrate each of these in abundance: knowledge + ability + skills + motivation. Conversely, if you have an employee who isn’t meeting performance standards, one or more of those elements is missing.

In a previous post, I talked about the importance for leaders to have an early warning system. Ideally, a leader anticipates, is proactive and also has an early warning system. This combination enables a leader to have foresight and be ahead of the curve, and can be the saving grace for those situations where the leader did not anticipate as well as she could, to assess and act quickly. An early warning system is a tool. But having one isn’t enough. The leader needs to use the information to weigh the situation or issue and take action which can impact the person and team’s optimal performance.

A business owner and I were talking about an employee that isn’t meeting the leader’s expectations. One of the pieces of this leader’s early warning system is sales goals. The employee we were discussing has not met his sales goal for two months. Month one of missing the goal was a yellow flag. Month two was red flag.  Now, the employee is potentially going into dangerous territory. He has to turn things around.

Th leader explained that at the end of month one, he asked the employee what he could do to help. They agreed on some specific steps they each would take and checked-in with each other over the next few weeks. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough. At the end of month two, sales had not improved and the two met again. The employee said he’d try harder. The leader said he was there to help. Again, that was not enough change.

I recommended that the leader and employee discuss and assess the four areas: knowledge +  ability + skills + motivation to understand what is happening.  I think of knowledge as the  knowing why, what, how, when and with whom, it includes the theoretical and book learning parts. You can have knowledge without ability or skill or motivation. Ability is sometimes innate, sometimes developed; it usually is demonstrated by a person being able to do XYZ.  Just because you have an ability does not mean you have a high level of skill. In using skills here, I am referring to a person having a high level of skill in executing a strategy or action; the person does something well or very well. Motivation used here is about whether a person has the motivation to take action, whether intrinsic or because of an external reason. He wants to apply what he knows, using his ability with a lot of skill.

The conversation will require self-awareness on both the leader and employee’s parts. And depending on what comes from the talk, they then can fashion an appropriate action plan quickly.

What are your thoughts or experience?

Come back to see what transpires next.

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I recently shared an example of a leader, I’ll call her Faye, that built a lot of trust. Cultivating trust helped her build strong relationships. These relationships created an environment where people wanted to do their best and in fact, they did, they excelled.

Let’s look at her behaviors and actions:

Encouraged and promoted open communication

- Faye was honest and transparent and fostered that in return. You knew where she stood and what she expected. She shared her reasoning, thoughts and feelings. There were no hidden agendas or mixed messages. She created an environment where people truly felt they could express an opinion and it would be considered, even if it differed from hers. Faye asked for regular feedback and gave it freely, both complimentary and constructive. When she couldn’t take an action that was requested, she explained why and it made sense. She communicated clearly and thoroughly; the receiver really got the message that she intended.

Reliable and consistent

- Faye kept commitments and held herself and those she worked with accountable. She had high integrity. There were no surprises or broken promises. She was good at following-up. When she couldn’t take an action that was requested, she explained why and it made sense.

Respectful to all

-Faye was fair and had no hidden agendas. She really valued diversity. She enhanced people’s self-esteem.

Showed confidence in others

-Faye let people do their jobs by supporting them and getting out of their way. She invested in her team’s development, both individually and as a group. She coached and mentored. She advocated for her group and others. She shared leadership and she brought out the best in others.

Faye was and is a great leader and boss. And she still is one of the best leaders I know.

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Watching my two-year old son today at the beach in Hawaii made me think about how trust actually develops.

Is it there until it isn’t? Can and do we relearn how to trust? How do we develop trust in ourselves, in one another and the larger world? Why is it that some of us are more trusting and why do we trust sooner than others?

In the 1950’s, psychiatrist Erik Erickson developed a model of social and emotional development. The process of socialization, the Eight Stages of Development start with learning basic trust vs. basic mistrust. This occurs in infancy through the first one or two years: the nurtured and loved child develops, trust, security and a certain optimism.

Back to today. We’ve been to this beach before, so familiarity made us both more comfortable. Comfortable enough to settle close to the shoreline and immediately play in the wet sand, about a foot above the line where the surf rolled in. Previously we would start in the dry sand quite a ways from the ocean and slowly make our way to the seashore over the course of an hour or so. Today, it was just a few minutes after our arrival that my son wanted to go in the water.

But the waves were a bit bigger and the tide was higher than our previous visits. We waded in a bit, holding hands. My son is not a huge risk taker, at least not yet. I’d say he is somewhat cautious. We were fine until the the third wave. It wasn’t much bigger than the others, it came up to his chest, but it was relatively bigger than what he was used to. He cried and we retreated. And that was the end of going in the ocean for today.

This made me wonder if he trusted me, himself, or even the waves until the situation proved to be different that he expected. And I’m wondering how much of today’s experience will impact our next visit.

This made me think about leaders who trust from the get-go until there is evidence not to vs. those that withhold trust until other people have earned it.

What do you think? What kind of leader are you? What kind of leader would you want to be lead by?

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Why is trust such an important part of being a leader? Without it, almost nothing else matters. It is a basic trademark of good leadership.

This makes me recall a former boss. He had technical business savvy, but very little emotional intelligence. He lead by fear, not by cultivating trust. He bullied lots of people (this was before companies really paid attention to professional and civil treatment for all) . He did not care about building relationships. And forget about developing employees. It’s almost as though he had a “chew ‘em up and spit ‘em out” philosophy. People would shake in their boots when he was around. He did not admit mistakes and was good at blaming others. While his “get results through fear” had short-term impact, it could not carry the long-term business results the corporation expected. Trust was non-existent. No one wanted to go the extra mile. Turnover was at an all-time high. And in the end, he was terminated.

It was a great learning experience. One that showed clearly what not to do.

In contrast, another former supervisor invested in relationships and earning people’s trust. She was honest and transparent. She had high integrity and you knew where she stood and what she expected. There were no hidden agendas. She created an environment where people truly felt they could express an opinion and it would be considered, even if it differed from hers. It was safe, so people had more courage and took more (good) risks. She kept commitments. She asked for regular feedback and was good at following-up. When she couldn’t take an action that was requested, she explained why and it made sense. She communicated clearly and thoroughly; in other words, the receiver really got the message that she intended. She let people do their jobs by supporting them and getting out of their way. She invested in her team’s development, both individually and as a group. People excelled on her team and high performers from other departments wanted to work with her. People willingly gave more than was expected and had fun doing it. We’re talking lots of optimal performance. In the end, she was promoted, several times, to the highest executive level.

It was a great learning experience. It made me want to be that kind of leader because I experienced first-hand what it was like to work with someone like that. I was motivated to do my best and then reach further, to improve from there. It was invigorating and rewarding, not just for me but for people I interacted with also.

Most leaders fall somewhere in between these two examples. And most good leaders do some of the things outlined in the second story above, some of the time.

Here’s my challenge to leaders: what difference would you see in performance and then business results if you did all of the things to build and nurture trust, all of the time? If you don’t think it’s worth the investment, I guarantee you are not maximizing your team’s output, getting the best business results and for sure you are not getting optimal performance.

Try it and let me know…

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Leaders! You have to pay attention to how to maximize your time and energy. If you aren’t already making the most of how you spend your energy, you’re wasting precious resources and you may be on your way to derailment or burnout.

One of the hallmarks of leadership is getting great business results through and with others and not trying to do it all yourself. Given that there’s always more to achieve, you need to rely on each individual on your team to do her/his part. The sum of everyone’s efforts needs to be 1+1=5 or better.

Emotional intelligence research shows that people want to do their best work, to perform at their optimal level when they work in a setting that enables them to do just that. What does that environment look like?

For starters, there’s a lot of trust. Up, down and sideways.

Yes, people can do a good job when it doesn’t exist, but for long-term, sustainable, excellent outcomes, trust must be part of the emotional climate. And integrity goes with trust.

Leaders often ask me how to cultivate trust. It’s simple but not necessarily easy. You build mutually trusting relationships one interaction at a time. Some then ask, “isn’t that a huge investment of time and energy?” I go back to how the leader is spending his time in the first place. If you want 1+1=5, use your time wisely. That includes building better, more effective relationships based on trust.

Every single interaction is an opportunity to build trust. And it’s a two-way street. If we really think about this, even our simplest human connections take on a different meaning.

In thinking about how to build trust, how do you start to feel that another person is trustworthy? Most often someone who earns out trust does so by being honest and open, truthful. I don’t mean brutally honest with no regard for the other person’s feelings. I’m referring to the person who can present the truth in a helpful way, using their emotional intelligence to read their own emotions and that of the other person or group and respond appropriately. This person keeps confidences. Their actions and behaviors match what they say. You know, they walk their talk. And he doesn’t do things for personal gain. He admits his mistakes or missteps and learns from them.

Trust develops over time, little by little. And can be instantly dissolved.

I’ll be talking more about trust, how to cultivate it, and what not to do over the next few posts.

And as always, I welcome your thoughts and comments.

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