Emotional Intelligence Leadership

Mastery is the second element that leads to more intrinsic motivation. Daniel Pink in his book, Drive, defines mastery as the desire to get better and better at something that matters.

If you have the desire to improve, you probably want to know what you can do…

In addition to deliberate practice, practice and more practice, you need to know how you’re doing and what you can do to improve. You are looking for more self-awareness. That means seeking feedback on an on-going basis.

Set up the conversation with a variety of people you trust to be honest and that know you, but also ask people that think differently than you, diversity of thought, experience and background is helpful. Explain that you are on the road to mastering something (XYZ) and you are seeking feedback to help you get there. Ask these questions on a regular and frequent basis (perhaps weekly or monthly):

“What am I doing well to get closer to mastering XYZ?”
“What could I do differently to be better at XYZ?”
“What other feedback do you have that may be helpful in my mastering XYZ?”

Thank the person genuinely and get to work on putting that feedback into motion. As you take action, ask for more specific feedback and continue refining your behaviors and actions.

Be prepared that the road to mastery can be long and potentially painful. It will serve you well if you have a “learning” mindset and take small baby steps toward your goal of mastering XYZ.

Mastery requires concerted effort. Be one of the minority that has the energy and focus to stay the course. The payoff of your leadership will be great.

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In my last post, I told you I was reading Daniel Pink’s latest book, Drive as fast as I could. And I strongly recommended you get it. If you have not, do.  It applies to us all, not only for those who lead in formal ways. And since I believe that we all are leaders in some way, shape or form, the information applies to YOU.

Drive says that for 21st century work, we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery and purpose. This is assuming you strive for optimal performance.

I had not thought too much about it before, autonomy that is. I am fortunate that for most of my working life, I have had a fair amount of it, so I have not spent much energy thinking   about it. And somehow it seemed like the right thing to do when leading people, so  that is the approach I’ve taken. But these days the whole concept of autonomy is right in front of me. I get to see what it means as my young child wants to do this, that, and so-and-so himself. “I can do it, by myself. No, I want to do it (don’t help me, Mommy).”

And if we start out this way as toddlers, why then is that not the case for many in the world of work? Of course there are standards to meet and for some types of work there is a “proper” way to do things that doesn’t allow for too much autonomy. But for much of the work today, autonomy is the way to go if you want to the person doing it to really be “into” what s/he is doing and the result to be higher, better performance.

Drive says that we have a default setting (like my toddler) and that is to be autonomous. That is, when people have self-direction over what they do (the tasks), when they do it (the time), how they do it (the technique) and who they do it with (the team), they and you get big payoffs.

We all want to outperform yesterday and I’d add, our competition. Autonomy is one way to make it happen.

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I’m reading Drive by Daniel Pink as fast as I can. It captures in one place, a clear explanation of what I’ve been feeling and perhaps knowing for a long time: motivation (enduring motivation vs. short term bursts) is an inside job. Pink’s newest book is spot on. Here’s his Twitter summary (he’s given permission to retweet this) : Carrots & sticks are so last century. Drive says for 21st century work, we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery and purpose.

If you are leader, read this book NOW and look at what you’re doing in your workplace. You may be sabotaging your employee’s best performance while trying to maximize it. And the reward system you have in place may be keeping you from your optimal performance as well. I’m sure that’s not your intention.

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As a leader, how do you measure the value of your investment of energy, expertise and time…as a volunteer? Recently, I had a conversation about volunteering. One of the things that surfaced was that the person didn’t feel that she was getting what she expected from her contribution. And she felt what she was giving wasn’t appreciated.

Giving more than what is received may not meet be what you signed up for. Then again, as a leader, you are probably familiar with that situation. In fact, an informal poll of a small group of women business owners, my friends and peers, showed that they all think that a leader goes beyond what is expected, gives the extra something and that sets the tone and example for others. And there are many things that a leader receives in return for this investment: feeling that you are making a positive difference, building relationships, learning, developing others, and having fun among them.

If you are a leader, someone who others look to for guidance and direction, someone who has influence and gets things done through others, think about your gift of energy, expertise, and time as a volunteer and…how you measure your investment.

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We tend to think of good decision making as being logical and rational and that if we allow emotions to get into the mix they will prevent good decisions. But, consider an emotionally intelligent leader who has an understanding of her emotions (self awareness), is skilled at managing them (self-management of emotion), has social awareness (empathy), and is good at relationship management. These four fundamentals of EQ, combined with logic and rational thought enable better decisions to be made.

A recent small study by TalentSmart using a 360 degree assessment, showed that almost 70% of leaders rated as high in emotional intelligence also rated well in decision making. And they found that 69% of low rated EQ leaders ranked in the lowest 15% of decision makers.

You can increase your decision making capabilities by being more emotionally intelligent.

See http://www.talentsmart.com/learn/online_whitepaper2.php?title=EMOTIONAL_DECISIONS_1&page=1

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I regularly reflect about great leadership and how emotional intelligence (EI) contributes to a leader’s effectiveness. I strongly believe that the more EI a leader has and uses appropriately in daily interactions, the more effective s/he is, all things being equal. That belief is why this blog exists.

When it comes to the year end, I find myself thinking about all the leaders I have encountered, worked with or heard about through the year. The great, good, bad and the ugly. And that review makes me conclude once again, that a leader’s clarity is absolutely critical. We expect that with regard to an organization’s vision, mission, goals, objectives etc., but don’t always consciously require that clarity of a leader at the individual, personal level.

But we should, we must. Without that personal clarity, self-awareness, and self-knowledge at a deep level, how can a leader really hope to earn trust and inspire greatness especially in uncertain, ambiguous times?

As 2009 closes and we embrace all that is possible in the new year, I challenge you and the leaders you know, work with and mentor to find and refine your personal clarity. That will have a huge impact on your leadership, those you lead and the bottom line of your organization’s success. Take action!

Here’s a to a great 2010! I look forward to continuing on the learning journey with you and to furthering your leadership effectiveness.

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Jennifer Cheavens, PhD and assistant professor of psychology at Ohio State University is doing very interesting work on hope.  This makes me more hopeful than I already am…especially for leaders and their teams. Dr. Cheavens asserts that research has shown that those of us with lots of hope do very well in life in all sorts of areas. Prior to knowing this, that was my sense, but now there’s evidence.

Dr Cheavens and her colleagues differentiate hope from optimism; they define hope as goal-oriented thinking. It is therefore active. There are two components, pathways and agency. “Pathways thinking reflects your ability to come up with lots of different ways to get what you want in the future. Agency is the amount of energy, will or motivation you bring to those routes.” A person can be high in both pathways and agency, low in one or the other or low in both.

Stated this way, hope sounds like creative problem-solving to meet a goal, the very actions required of leaders and their teams to achieve business results. And an excellent tie-back to self awareness and emotional intelligence (EI).

Noting this, it may be useful for leaders and the individuals on their teams to consider where they are on the hope scale. And if needed, work to move one’s placement further up the scale.

Dr, Cheavens recommends asking these three questions which will give you an idea of where you are on the hope scale:

-Do I believe I can get the things I want in my life?
-Do I think I can come up with ways to get what I want?
-Do I think those ways are things I can actually do?

For a leader and a workplace team, the questions might be something like the following:

-Do we believe we can get the things we want in this project/assignment?
-Do we think we can come up with ways to get what we want?
-Do we think those ways are things we can actually do?

How do you increase hope? Dr. Cheavens suggests articulating very specific goals, and to move toward a goal rather than away from a problem, as that is more energizing. These apply to an individual on a personal level and in the professional arena. Use positive self-talk and good self-care. Good advice in any situation. Generate lots of pathways to reach the goal. This is brainstorming, a familiar tool to leaders and teams. Visually make a map of “I am/we are here” as a starting point with the goal on the other end and include the pathways and obstacles. Ramp-up support, find advocates and allies. Again, this makes good sense in the personal and professional spheres.

Now that there is evidence that hope really can make a difference, I am hopeful that leaders and teams take action to increase their hope.

How hopeful are you?

http://www.more.com/2024/7577-a-plan-to-make-your

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Two of the most important leadership lessons I learned happened early in my work life in my days in NYC. I watched a manager undo more than 35 years of experience by being overly sure of himself and unwilling to change with the times. His career derailed and ended as a result.

OK, so don’t be overconfident and don’t fail to adapt. Not so hard, right? You may think you are immune to either of these. And perhaps you are among those who are.

But consider Malcolm Gladwell’s article in The New Yorker (http://www.gladwell.com/2009/2009_07_27_a_cocksure.html) where he writes about overconfidence and the downfall of Bear Sterns. By no means is it just those in finance world that are at risk. Apparently, as we age and with more experience, we tend to overestimate the accuracy of our judgments. This is even more true when “…the task before us is difficult and when we’re involved with something of great personal importance.” The line between what we can control and what we can’t gets grayer.

Of course there are times when overconfidence disguised as excessive optimism can be helpful. But business and organizational results are at risk, not to mention the well being of the individuals who make up those organizations.

Leaders need to be very mindful of falling into the trap of overconfidence. One way to do that is to always be on the lookout to adapt as necessary. Do not solely rely on what has worked in the past. Too often leaders blindly repeat what has built the bottom line and brought them success so far.

Equally critical is self-awareness and being able to trust your team to offer diverse views for serious consideration. It takes a grounded leader to ask for input especially when it’s a different perspective. And it takes trust for those the leader is asking to provide honest opinions and feedback.

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I now know what it feels like to use the oxygen mask on an airplane while the plane is rapidly descending much too soon to be arriving at our destination. Scary.

A split second that seemed like minutes passed before I grabbed my mask as I had seen so many times in the safety presentation.

A four year old boy didn’t want to keep his mask on. He was crying, desperately pushing his mom away as she tried her best to stay calm, talk with her mask on and get him to put his mask back on and keep it on. Two passengers leaned in and over to assist doing their best to help. After several tense minutes, the boy complied.

With little information about what the problem was, we sat there, strapped in tightly, trying with some difficulty to breathe slowly as reminded by the flight attendant. We checked on our seat mates.

After a safe landing in a small airport in Colorado we were diverted to, we laughed with relief and applauded loudly, grateful. We bonded with people who a few minutes earlier were nameless strangers. We helped each other off, thanking the crew for getting us down in one piece.

Flight 4440 from Salt Lake to Houston had a semi-serious cabin pressure problem last night.

Once we were in the terminal, waiting for instructions and after calling family to assure them all was OK, my next thoughts were “how could I have been better prepared? and “what do I need to do to prepare my family for an emergency like this?”

Personally, I will be much more conscious about knowing what to do, each step. And I thought I was pretty good about paying attention to the safety presentation.  As a family, we’re going to discuss what it’s like to be in the chaos (it’s not easy to stay logical), to expect the rush of adrenaline and what to do in those precious moments. We’re going to talk about the meaning of an emergency, how to listen (not easy when you’re feeling panicked) and we’re going to practice what to do.

Hopefully, we’ll never be tested, but if we are, we’re prepared as best as we can be.

If you fly, be prepared and be conscious about what you may need to do.

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Leaders should be willing and able to show their emotions when appropriate. It’s ‘when is it appropriate and how to express those emotions’ that we don’t all agree on.

There were two tragic car accidents this week that touched my world. The two that lost their lives still had so much living ahead. Their contribution to making life better will really be missed.

In the shock of reading an email in the first case and hearing the news in the second, I had to decide how to respond.

Writing a response via email was just too impersonal. Phoning seemed the right thing to do in both cases. With caller ID, the person on the other end could choose not to answer. They answered. Tears, a loss of words, then words overflowing were shared.

Perhaps this is not what another leader might have chosen to do. In these two situations, it felt right to me. I hope that my reaching out and sharing my sense of loss and compassion will in some small way lead to healing.

Leaders need to know themselves well enough to know what they are willing and able to do in times of loss. And I believe leaders also need to be willing and able to be vulnerable in those situations to share their emotions, their compassion and humanity.

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