EI as it Happens: Self Awareness and Self Management – My Own Example
A friend and business colleague phoned me and started the conversation after hello with, “we’re pretty good friends, right?” I immediately felt warmer and the warning light went on in my head. After I agreed, she went on to give me some feedback: she said that my sending an email offering help to a third party was “kinda taking over” (taking over her role as head of the non-profit volunteer organization we both belong to).
That came as a pretty big surprise, since that was not and is not my intention (there’s an example of the gap between intention and impact). After taking a breath, I apologized and explained that wasn’t what I wanted to do and I calmly asked her how she wanted me to change that going forward. She asked me to run things by her first and admitted that it might be cumbersome, but that was her preference (and she is the head of this organization). Ok, sure I can do that.
In the moment I composed the email and sent it, I was not thinking that my actions could be mis-interpreted. Since receiving the feedback, I am now much more conscious of how I will do things as they relate to this group and specifically to her, our leader.
Self management keeps me from making this any larger than it is. But I feel a bit annoyed (at least my self awareness is working some) at myself for not having thought about it more and the potential impact of my seemingly innocent actions. And I feel a bit irritated that what started out as a good gesture didn’t exactly turn out the way I thought.
Emotional intelligence as it happens.
Tags: EI, emotional intelligence, feedback, impact, intention, self-awareness, self-management
