Emotional Intelligence Leadership

Power enhances being goal oriented, self-interested and taking risks, all of which can be critical leadership qualities when used responsibly. That’s the key: to harness your power without it getting the best of you.

How? One of the most direct ways is though meaningful, timely and regular feedback from people who will be honest with you and with whom you share mutual trust and respect.

Ask for the feedback. Be open in wanting to know and learn from their opinions. Some examples:

“what am I doing that I should continue?” “what do I do well?’
“what could I do differently (please be specific)?”
“what should I consider stopping because it gets in the way, is annoying, isn’t effective?”
“what would be helpful for me to learn?” “who else can help me learn what I need to learn?”

Give people an opportunity to provide the feedback face-to-face, on the phone or in writing, whatever is easiest for them.

Of course you then need to do something with that input.

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As reported in the Oprah magazine, by Katie Arnold-Ratliff,  in 2001, marketing professor Roy D. Adler of Pepperdine University found that of the more than 200 Fortune 500 companies tracked for profitability over 19 years, the 25 organizations that most aggressively promoted women to executive positions had 34% higher profits as a share of revenue than the industry median. The 10 firms with excellent records of promoting women realized much higher profits than those whose records were considered very good.

http://www.women2top.net/download/home/adler_web.pdf

I am not going to debate gender and leadership, however, it is very interesting that these results were confirmed in studies from 2004-200 as well.

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How are you creating your legacy?

Live on purpose…your purpose. Not someone else’s.

Serve. Be a servant leader.

Be generous in spirit, compassion, your talents and humor.

Forgive yourself and others as soon as you can.

Worry less.

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Recently, I was a participant in an embodied leadership experience through Souls of Our Feet, an expressive arts institute. (See my April 4, 2010 post.)

One of the intriguing things that came up was that in a group of eight, two of us chose to tell our stories in the third person. Our facilitator, Kate made mention of this. Kate said that “de-centering” is a useful way of looking in on ourselves as it removes the personal first person perspective and may allow more objective observation and analysis, an exploration without imposition approach.

As I reflected on this it sparked my curiosity about how central leaders can be in a given situation. The more traditional way of thinking of leadership is the leader is out in front, a key and central figure. In current times, with collaborative approaches, the leader can be more de-central. S/he can foster an environment that drives business results without having to be at the center of things. This calls upon the leader’s ability to be centered does it not?

I am using centered to mean focused, where one can draw on inner strength without being ego driven. To be on purpose. That is, to align your behaviors and actions with your purpose.

My experience being de-centered in telling the story was insightful and it heightened my self-awareness and learning and I believe that a leader should be centered in herself…most of the time.

I welcome your thoughts on being centered as a leader, de-centered as a useful difference in perspective on occasion and being a de-central leader.

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“If leadership is more art than science, perhaps we should use the wisdom of the arts to help shape our leadership and the organizations we inhabit.” Stephanie Guastella Lindsey

I look for opportunities to learn more about, improve and refine my leadership. It’s a continuing path of self-awareness and development. This focus fuels me to be more authentic and more effective, as a leader and as a leadership coach.

A new expressive arts institute, Souls of Our Feet, directed by my good friend and colleague, Stephanie Guastella Lindsey gave me one of these opportunities this weekend. Souls of Our Feet, located in the Pacific Northwest, helps individuals and organizations achieve positive change and growth using movement, the visual arts, and creative writing.  http://www.soulsofourfeet.org/

I was a participant in a workshop entitled, Heroes Journey. Our facilitator, Kathleen Cleary, a performance artist and choreographer started us  with our eyes closed as so much of what we get is through our eyes. Concentrating on our body, we moved through a semi-narrated series of simple movements. In a short 7-8 minutes, I felt relaxed and centered, all without any uncomfortable gyrations. Hmm, “is this what embodied leadership feels like? I wondered. I wasn’t sure, but I did feel really alive.

A large part of our half day was centered on an activity of a pilgrim’s journey. We were given details, bit by bit of this journey. We responded to the challenges and made decisions one challenge at a time, and wrote our choices in a journal. At the end, we were asked to write a story about our journey now that the story was complete. Then we this shared our story in front of the group.

The process was very insightful. The stories were really engaging. I wanted my fellow classmates to go on and on like a good story that my mother read to me when I was a little girl. You know, the kind that you want to hear over and over because you are right there , you are living the story. We all “went” on this same journey (we were solo on our journey, but we heard the same basic outline of the storyline all at the same time), but each of us had a slightly different version of what happened. The pieces that were especially interesting were how we dealt with, managed, and lead ourselves through the challenges we faced.  In the end we all were successful as we reached our fictitious destination,  goal, and bottom-line. We even described our different ways of celebrating, expressing our own personal style.

And this is where it became really interesting. When we talked about what happened (debriefed), Kate asked us what surprised us. And each person HAD a surprise, something not consciously intentional that came from their story. An ‘ah-ha’ that was different than the usual way she leads her life. They ranged from something that he chose to take along but didn’t know why at first, something that she did uncharacteristically, and several of us had somehow developed creative problem-solving skills we didn’t know we had.

So maybe this is what embodied leadership is, or at least a part of what it is: going beyond what we know we have in us as leaders to respond to the challenges and successes that we will inevitably face. And going beyond our preconceived beliefs on several levels:  mental, physical emotional and spiritual to find, create and use resources.

The experience validated  a number of leadership capabilities and competencies for me and it also raised a new question or two, which of course makes it more intriguing. More to come…

What are your thoughts about embodied leadership? How do you experience it?

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“Purpose provides activation energy for living.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi told Daniel Pink, author of Drive.

When I read Drive, it really hit a cord with me, particularly the chapter on purpose. Daniel Pink states, “we’re designed to be active and engaged. And we know that the richest experiences in our lives aren’t when we’re clamoring for validation from others, but when we’re listening to our own voice – doing something that matters, doing it well, and doing it in the service of a cause larger than ourselves.”

It’s quite common that at some point in life we ask, “what is my purpose?” And we strive to find the answer. The answer may not come for a while and it may change with life experience and time. Coming to an answer often infuses us with renewed energy and hope. For me it also brings clarity of what, with whom, how, when and why to spend my precious time and energy. Purpose also gives me courage.

I’m not sure which comes first purpose or courage. It probably doesn’t matter. What does matter is that leaders all need courage. And leaders all need purpose. Together, they enable leaders to see and set the vision, refine direction and allows them to guide others. Purpose fuels us.

When I take action that is aligned with my purpose, I am in creative flow, it’s practically effortless and I’m happy, productive and fulfilled. I am at my best, performing optimally.

If you want to be at your best, clarify your purpose and make choices and decisions that match it. It works.

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Mastery is the second element that leads to more intrinsic motivation. Daniel Pink in his book, Drive, defines mastery as the desire to get better and better at something that matters.

If you have the desire to improve, you probably want to know what you can do…

In addition to deliberate practice, practice and more practice, you need to know how you’re doing and what you can do to improve. You are looking for more self-awareness. That means seeking feedback on an on-going basis.

Set up the conversation with a variety of people you trust to be honest and that know you, but also ask people that think differently than you, diversity of thought, experience and background is helpful. Explain that you are on the road to mastering something (XYZ) and you are seeking feedback to help you get there. Ask these questions on a regular and frequent basis (perhaps weekly or monthly):

“What am I doing well to get closer to mastering XYZ?”
“What could I do differently to be better at XYZ?”
“What other feedback do you have that may be helpful in my mastering XYZ?”

Thank the person genuinely and get to work on putting that feedback into motion. As you take action, ask for more specific feedback and continue refining your behaviors and actions.

Be prepared that the road to mastery can be long and potentially painful. It will serve you well if you have a “learning” mindset and take small baby steps toward your goal of mastering XYZ.

Mastery requires concerted effort. Be one of the minority that has the energy and focus to stay the course. The payoff of your leadership will be great.

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In my last post, I told you I was reading Daniel Pink’s latest book, Drive as fast as I could. And I strongly recommended you get it. If you have not, do.  It applies to us all, not only for those who lead in formal ways. And since I believe that we all are leaders in some way, shape or form, the information applies to YOU.

Drive says that for 21st century work, we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery and purpose. This is assuming you strive for optimal performance.

I had not thought too much about it before, autonomy that is. I am fortunate that for most of my working life, I have had a fair amount of it, so I have not spent much energy thinking   about it. And somehow it seemed like the right thing to do when leading people, so  that is the approach I’ve taken. But these days the whole concept of autonomy is right in front of me. I get to see what it means as my young child wants to do this, that, and so-and-so himself. “I can do it, by myself. No, I want to do it (don’t help me, Mommy).”

And if we start out this way as toddlers, why then is that not the case for many in the world of work? Of course there are standards to meet and for some types of work there is a “proper” way to do things that doesn’t allow for too much autonomy. But for much of the work today, autonomy is the way to go if you want to the person doing it to really be “into” what s/he is doing and the result to be higher, better performance.

Drive says that we have a default setting (like my toddler) and that is to be autonomous. That is, when people have self-direction over what they do (the tasks), when they do it (the time), how they do it (the technique) and who they do it with (the team), they and you get big payoffs.

We all want to outperform yesterday and I’d add, our competition. Autonomy is one way to make it happen.

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I’m reading Drive by Daniel Pink as fast as I can. It captures in one place, a clear explanation of what I’ve been feeling and perhaps knowing for a long time: motivation (enduring motivation vs. short term bursts) is an inside job. Pink’s newest book is spot on. Here’s his Twitter summary (he’s given permission to retweet this) : Carrots & sticks are so last century. Drive says for 21st century work, we need to upgrade to autonomy, mastery and purpose.

If you are leader, read this book NOW and look at what you’re doing in your workplace. You may be sabotaging your employee’s best performance while trying to maximize it. And the reward system you have in place may be keeping you from your optimal performance as well. I’m sure that’s not your intention.

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As a leader, how do you measure the value of your investment of energy, expertise and time…as a volunteer? Recently, I had a conversation about volunteering. One of the things that surfaced was that the person didn’t feel that she was getting what she expected from her contribution. And she felt what she was giving wasn’t appreciated.

Giving more than what is received may not meet be what you signed up for. Then again, as a leader, you are probably familiar with that situation. In fact, an informal poll of a small group of women business owners, my friends and peers, showed that they all think that a leader goes beyond what is expected, gives the extra something and that sets the tone and example for others. And there are many things that a leader receives in return for this investment: feeling that you are making a positive difference, building relationships, learning, developing others, and having fun among them.

If you are a leader, someone who others look to for guidance and direction, someone who has influence and gets things done through others, think about your gift of energy, expertise, and time as a volunteer and…how you measure your investment.

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